By PETERKIN KINADANO
THE DESIRE & IMPORTANCE OF SEX IN MARRIAGE PART 1
Yea that is perfectly right to some extent since marriage is not there for sex alone as in,
"MAN MUST NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE".
But let me assure all concerned to get it straight now as a marriage counselor that the human body, until it grows weak naturally, demands that all the functional organs as well as the sexual organs function as it demands (be it morally or immorally) apart from looking at it in the moral aspect as marriage couples.
God in His own wisdom instituted marriage that they may be one, respect and love themselves that none should starve any in times of sexual hunger.
Many in marriage do use some useless and flimsy excuses to prevent their spouses from their marital sexual obligations out of their own "selfish" interests whereas going about satisfying themselves secretly elsewhere! All these have numerous dimensions such as sexual incompatibilities, insatiability, higher drive, shyness of letting partners know how active he/she is by way of (religious factors or so) that bring about not giving in fully to enjoying sex with partner as should be or postponing the joy for own ways of satisfaction.
Besides, it is also important noting that others especially women do have some medical difficulties that need medical and clinical attentions.
Having said these, let me emphasis that men do not WANT SEX but NEED SEX and that can well be explained medically. Aside that, unless your man is like the Roman Father that I mostly attributes to fake personifications and pretends which gives way for them to satisfy that desire outside, also through mastication, etc. Since you, a wife do not want these to happen, why not OPEN up and give him what you don't want others outside to give?
Marriage is so wonderfully designed that it has a way of taking care of all these. It is very important to not that the wanting or needing desires die down or reduce naturally with time of being together.
Thus once the two are together with the security that that need or want is satisfied at any time, the "CRAZY" drive is over shadowed down drastically without any looking outside for that satisfaction. And this happens only when the two are magnetically connected thereby doing it at any time it possibly and morally calls for otherwise either the two shall secretly result to (masturbation or fornication) to substitute the role in one way or the other.
"AND PLEASE DON'T DECEIVE YOURSELVES BECAUSE THESE HAPPEN EVERY TIME BE IT IN ORDINARY RELATIONSHIP OR IN MARRIAGE!"
To be continued later
Question:
What if as we grow older and deeper in the things of God, the sex drive earned?
Certainly.
But before that stage, there was the active stage also.
Life is such that the early stages are there to complement the older stages.(The divine design of God).
You will bear with me that being together and gluing to each other naturally in love and in confidence is a process of the youth and old ages, or sexually active stages and the sexually inactive stages.
This then goes to affirm the case that if one does not start from the first stage before entering entering into the second stages, it is natural that whatever one does to stay together for life is done based on friction, (stress, incompatibility, difficulties, lack of trust, etc).
See, the time in man's (both sexes) life that one needs his or her partner the most is in the old ages when in pains, sickness, incapacitation, etc, to sort of cleaning the needy up, massaging, doing those domestically private services that need doing without hesitation and these are not services that could easily be done wholeheartedly without that kind of love. (Even those so close are falling apart or running away from that kind of responsibilities, how much more those who just joined along the way?).
The divine design when natured very well in truth and in love, it is capable of handling all situations even when the sex drive is completely dead.
Interestingly before the old ages, man as in both sexes certainly might have led other lives and looking back in frustrations by either party are very natural and common to grumble.
Taking the scenario where in divorce, one realizing that age is catching up and mush grab someone to avoid loneliness and to make up for the life ahead before it was late.
You would realize that these, be it compatible or incompatible, sexually or not, communicative or not, loving or not, etc, etc. The bottom line of their coming together might base on PERCEIVED LOVE. Here don't also forget that the divine design of God in marriage is deficient. The two who have at this stage taken themselves as who they are might not even enjoy sex in open and fairness. (The perceived nature of holding something back) and don't forget that the more one holds something back, certainly, the level of openness is compromised in one way or the other.
***"NOTE THAT OPENNESS IN SEX ACTUALLY BINDS THE COUPLE MORE INTIMATELY AND MAGICALLY THAN CAN IMAGINE"***
This coming together along the line may have then been done without the consideration of the real needs of each other in times of such difficulties. And when that time comes, most turn to look back and if care is not taken, then comes the inward feelings that; "You have your people and I have mine".
Without that kind of "OWNING EACH OTHER" consideration, the likelihood of hesitation as another factor sets in which are all in contrast to the MARRIAGE (others in friction are out) that have actually, lived and enjoyed themselves from their active ages till the time where they see themselves as "TRULY ONE" and be credited as best.
In short, sex just comes in to bind but the bases is the point where the two shall actually see themselves as " TRULLY ONE" that see each other doing any service for each other wholeheartedly without any holding anything back .
